A complete list of every post uploaded onto the blog thus far.
Selfie From Hell (2018) – Film Review
“Something Evil Has Already Set Its Eyes on You…” – Hannah In the horror genre, mystery plays a pivotal role in stories where the characters strive to uncover the cause behind the terrifying events they face, engaging the audience beyond scares via an instinctive desire for answers/explanations. However, in the case of 2018’s hilariously titled, low-budget horror; Selfie From Hell (or Selfieman in some regions), the central mystery frequently works…
The Mouse Trap (2024) – Film Review
“I Can See You… Do You Wanna See Me?” – Mickey Mouse Announced on January 1st, 2024, the same day Steamboat Willie (1928) entered the public domain, the animated short directed by Walt Disney and Ub Iwerks, considered by many to be Mickey and Minnie Mouse’s public debut, despite both characters actually premiering a few months prior in a test screening of Plane Crazy (1928) and the then-unreleased; The Gallopin’ Gaucho (1928). Mickey’s Mouse Trap, later renamed; The Mouse…
Grave Encounters (2011) – Film Review
“This Place Is About as Haunted as a Sock Drawer…” – Lance Preston Impressively produced on a budget of around £89,000, the 2011 found-footage flick; Grave Encounters, is an effective, if rarely groundbreaking, contemporary horror. Whilst not as down-to-earth or as painfully slow-paced as several other found-footage releases, such as Paranormal Activity (2007) or Mr. Jones (2013), Grave Encounters wastes little time getting into the monstrosities that lie within the…
Absolutely Anything (2015) – Film Review
“Absolute Power Doesn’t Corrupt, It Just Drives You Bloody Mad!” – Neil Clarke Released in 2015, Absolutely Anything is a zany sci-fi-comedy that explores the age-old fantasy of unlimited wish fulfillment, a concept historically associated with gods, genies and mythical beings. In this instance, however, the power rests in the hands of omnipotent extraterrestrials, who, believing in their superiority, bestow their boundless ability upon a single unsuspecting human. Alas, aside…
Jaws (1975) – Anniversary Retrospective
“Here’s to Swimmin’ With Bow-Legged Women…” – Captain Quint In the summer of 1975, a ferocious great white shark swam into cinemas and, by extension, cinematic history, as Jaws, directed by a then-relatively unknown Steven Spielberg, didn’t just terrify cinemagoers; it changed the film industry forever in more ways than one. Now, decades on, amid its 50th anniversary, it’s hard to imagine a world without it, not simply because of…
Double Indemnity (1944) – Film Review
“How Could I Have Known That Murder Could Sometimes Smell Like Honeysuckle?” – Walter Neff Widely regarded as one of the greatest films released during the Golden Age of Hollywood, Double Indemnity is a 1944 crime-thriller that combines suspense and sharp wit, conveying its captivating story of murder and romance through stylish, achromatic visuals and scintillating dialogue. Despite the technical limitations of its time and the occasional dragging scene, Double…
Malcolm & Marie (2021) – Film Review
“Cinema Doesn’t Need to Have a Message. It Needs to Have a Heart!” – Malcolm Elliott A contained and regaling monochrome drama, 2021’s Malcolm & Marie was one of the first feature-length films produced amidst the COVID-19 global pandemic. Written and directed by Sam Levinson (Another Happy Day, Assassination Nation), best known as the creator and lead writer of the hit teen-drama series; Euphoria, Malcolm & Marie was shot during…
Jurassic Park IV (2005) – Lost Projects
Before 2015’s Jurassic World brought dinosaurs back to the silver screen in the form of a glossy soft reboot, an earlier, radically different concept was drawn up for the fourth instalment of the franchise, with the aptly titled; Jurassic Park IV, set for release in mid-2005. This scrapped, now-long-forgotten sequel would’ve taken the series in a bold and contentious direction, concentrating its narrative on a crazed storyline revolving around genetically…
Monster Trucks (2016) – Film Review
“I Don’t Know Who’s Driving, Him or Me…” – Tripp Spawned from the mind of the four-year-old son of Adam Goodman, the then-president of the production company behind the film, Paramount, Monster Trucks is a 2016 family flick harbouring flashes of inspiration yet ultimately lacking in execution. Frequently demonstrating that a wacky storyline and a mashup of creatures and clamorous vehicles don’t necessarily yield a rollicking family film, Monster Trucks…
Puss in Boots (2011) – Film Review
“Fear Me, if You Dare!” – Puss in Boots Released in 2011, one year after the highly-praised Shrek series supposedly concluded with Shrek Forever After (2010), Puss in Boots acts as a spin-off and prequel to the endearing ogre’s renowned franchise, retaining its emphasis on parodying fairy tales whilst supplying the titular heroic feline with an amusing, stand-alone adventure that frequently pays tribute to Spanish cinema. While not profound in…
Anomalisa (2015) – Film Review
“Sometimes There’s No Lesson. That’s a Lesson in Itself.” – Michael Stone Originally planned to be a short film, roughly forty minutes in length, with the large sum of funds later gathered from a crowd-funder on Kickstarter pivoting the project to become feature-length, 2015’s Anomalisa is a technically impressive and exceptionally humane stop-motion drama that marks another distinctive highlight in writer and co-director Charlie Kaufman’s filmography. Serving as a thought-provoking treat…
Catwoman (2004) – Film Review
“White Russian… No Ice, No Vodka, Hold the Kahlua.” – Catwoman Widely considered one of the worst superhero blockbusters of all time, the notorious Catwoman from 2004 is a horrendous combination of an edgy 2000s music video and all of the worst aspects of a modern superhero flick. Harbouring immensely cringey, pun-based dialogue, terrible CG effects and a forced romantic subplot, among many other issues, Catwoman is a nosedive in…
Underwater (2020) – Film Review
“There’s a Comfort in Cynicism. There Is a Lot Less to Lose.” – Norah Price Substituting deep space for the deep sea, Underwater is a 2020 sci-fi thriller that takes a hefty amount of inspiration from the illustrious Alien franchise, namely the original 1979 sci-fi-horror classic, with its story centring on a group of survivors navigating a dim, claustrophobic facility submerged deep beneath the ocean’s surface, all while a terrifying,…
Cocaine Bear (2023) – Film Review
“What the Fuck Is Wrong With That Bear?!” – Beth Partially inspired by an incident that took place in 1985, where lawyer-turned-drug smuggler Andrew Thornton took to the skies to drop blocks of cocaine over Knoxville, Tennessee, before leaping out of his aircraft carrying a duffel bag containing roughly £11 million worth, ultimately falling to his death when his parachute malfunctioned. A regional black bear was believed to have stumbled…
The Quiet Ones (2014) – Film Review
“What if You Could Prove That the Supernatural Was Merely a Manifestation of What Alreadly Exists in the Mind; the Subconscious?” – Professor Joepsh Coupland Shot in 2012 yet not released until 2014, The Quiet Ones is a 1970s-set, melancholic horror loosely based on the Philip Experiment, a 1972 parapsychology experiment conducted in Toronto, Ontario, made to determine whether living subjects can communicate with fictionalised ghosts through expectations of human…
The Darkest Hour (2011) – Film Review
“What’s the Dress Code for the End of the World? Jacket, No Tie?” – Sean Initially intriguing yet ultimately vacuous, 2011’s The Darkest Hour is an apocalyptic blockbuster that will seem like familiar territory for most with its relatively straightforward premise of a group of survivors escaping a hostile, extraterrestrial foe, its only genuinely innovative ideas appearing in the form of its setting; Moscow, and the unique, electricity-based abilities/appearance of…
Sorry to Bother You (2018) – Film Review
“This Is Telemarketing. We’re Not Mapping the Fucking Human Genome Here. I Don’t Care if You Have Experience for This… I’ll Hire Damn Near Anyone.” – Anderson Full of surprises and thoroughly embracing its weirdness at every turn, the 2018 social satire Sorry to Bother You serves as a fantastically refreshing flick that announces writer-director Boots Riley as a radical upcoming voice in the realm of cinema. Harbouring a captivating…
Terminator: Dark Fate (2019) – Film Review
“Come With Me or You’ll Be Dead in Thirty Seconds…” – Grace After bringing the titular, wise-cracking anti-hero to the silver screen with his 2016 directorial debut; Deadpool, filmmaker Tim Miller lept onto a series with evenly iconic characters, the Terminator franchise. Kicking off with the original sci-fi-action classic in 1984, Miller’s entry in the series; Terminator: Dark Fate, released in 2019, functions as both a sequel to the first…
Leave the World Behind (2023) – Film Review
“A Conspiracy Theory About a Shadowy Group of People Running the World Is Far Too Lazy of an Explanation… Especially When the Truth Is Much Scarier.” – G. H. Scott Suspenseful, intriguing and enigmatic, 2023’s Leave the World Behind is an adaptation of the novel of the same name by Rumaan Alam. Steadily drawing its audience in through its engaging premise and stunning camerawork, this stylish Netflix Original is an…
The Hole in the Ground (2019) – Film Review
“Something’s Not Right With Him…” – Sarah O’Neill Ominous and moderately compelling, The Hole in the Ground is a 2019 Irish horror flick that, whilst well-crafted, is overly reliant on many of the conventional aspects of similar horror outings, most notably within the ‘sinister child’ subgenre. Still, with the film drawing from notions of Irish folklore, such as the concept of Changelings (children being replaced by fairy folk) and Fairy…
Love and Monsters (2020) – Film Review
“I Didn’t Really Have Your Typical Upbringing. I Mean, I Did at First… but Then the World Ended.” – Joel Dawson Originally titled; Monster Problems, the Netflix Original, Love and Monsters, released in 2020, is a comedic, post-apocalyptic romance filled with plenty of heart, humour, clever world-building and, as its title suggests, gigantic monsters. Despite housing a few blemishes here and there, Love and Monsters covers an abundance of emotional…
The Hateful Eight (2015) – Film Review
“One of Them Fellas Is Not What He Says He Is…” – John ‘The Hangman’ Ruth Written and directed by legendary filmmaker Quentin Tarantino (Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Inglourious Basterds), 2015’s The Hateful Eight is appropriately Tarantino’s eighth cinematic masterwork and his second western following Django: Unchained in 2012. Loaded with astounding performances, captivating dialogue and a story that seems to fly by even with a runtime of almost three…
Rear Window (1954) – Film Review
“We’ve Become a Race of Peeping Toms. What People Ought to Do Is Get Outside Their Own House and Look in for a Change.” – Stella A refined combination of acting, cinematography, editing, blocking and set design, Rear Window, released in 1954, is a mystery-thriller with a terrific premise that brims with suspense and intrigue. Supposedly based (very loosely so) on the short story of the same name by Cornell Woolrich,…
The Festival (2018) – Film Review
“There Are a Hundred Thousand People There. The Chances of Bumping into Her Are a Million to One…” – Shane Stubbs Having conquered British television with three series of the quintessential adult sitcom; The Inbetweeners, the comic duo of Damon Beesley and Iain Morris turned their attention to producing cinematic comedies in a similar vain, following that series’ two follow-up films with The Inbetweeners Movie (2011) and The Inbetweeners 2 (2014). Their next attempt…
Iconic Lines in Cinema – Film List
In my opinion, screenwriting has always been the most significant aspect of filmmaking amongst its many pivotal elements, given that storytelling and characterisation are ultimately what the creation of a film revolves around. These aspects are naturally fueled by lines of dialogue, which often become prominent in pop culture when associated with a certain character, scene or franchise, occasionally even adding layers of subtext to the grander narrative. Here is…
Gods of Egypt (2016) – Film Review
“Every Night the Battle Between Chaos and Creation Must Go On. Otherwise, the World Will Be Destroyed…” – Ra Based on the Egyptian myth; The Contendings of Horus and Set, a mythological tale from the Twentieth Dynasty of Egypt found in the pages of a biblical text, recounting a battle between Horus, a god who takes the form of a falcon, and Set, a sky god, lord of the desert and…
The Plague Dogs (1982) – Film Review
“They’re Not Masters. I Had a Master Once and I Know. Whatever the White Coats Are, They’re Not Masters…” – Snitter One of the longest British animated films ever released, 1982’s The Plague Dogs is an extraordinarily bleak yet emotionally resonant film that tackles the uncomfortable subject matter of animal testing, particularly in the case of canines. A beautifully melancholy and poignant story about hope, companionship and scientific boundaries, many will undoubtedly…
Shadow in the Cloud (2020) – Film Review
“I Saw… I Saw Something Move on the Right Wing…” – Maude Garrett Shadow in the Cloud, released in 2020, is an action-thriller with a remarkably intriguing premise, playing into the fables of the mischievously dangerous creature known as the “Gremlin,’ a folkloric rodent that originated in the 20th century to explain malfunctions with aircraft operations, primarily during World War II. Depictions of these creatures have varied widely over the…
Safety Not Guaranteed (2012) – Film Review
“Stormtroopers Don’t Know Anything About Lasers or Time Travel. They’re Blue-Collar Workers.” – Arnau Inspired by the infamous “Time Travel Companion” advert printed in a 1997 issue of Backwoods Home Magazine and written as a joke/last-minute slot filler by John Silveira, an employee of the magazine, who is actually credited in the film as a “Time Travel Consultant.” 2012’s Safety Not Guaranteed is a beguiling, low-budget comedy-drama with a minimal sci-fi…
Escape From Tomorrow (2013) – Film Review
“I’m Afraid if I Come With You, Something Bad Is Going to Happen…” – Jim Written and directed by relatively unknown filmmaker Randy Moore, Escape From Tomorrow, released in 2013, serves as a genre-defying, experimental arthouse flick, which, whilst flawed, has to be admired for both its ambition and ingenuity. Produced on a budget of around £502,000 and illicitly shot at the Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando, Florida, and Disneyland…
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Joe Baker - Film Reviews 